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Urgency
I feel an urgency to live
when I look into
My aged Mother's eyes
And I lift her
from her chair
To the bed
Wipe her nose
Caress her forehead
I feel an urgency to live
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Sep/18/2013, 12:13 pm
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Re: Urgency
hi Susie,
Lovely, 'small' poem that captures a big thing.
Chris
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Sep/18/2013, 2:42 pm
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Re: Urgency
Thank you Chris.
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Sep/18/2013, 3:13 pm
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Re: Urgency
Susie~ I am sorry it has taken me awhile to get back here to respond. I read your poem the other day and could not give it the time it deserved.
I love the tender and very real details of the N's actions towards her mother. I also like the phrase "urgency to live" -- as it refers so poignantly to the unspoken loss of urgency in the mother.
I am not sure yet what I think about its repetition in first and last lines.... I am going to ponder this some more and get back to you on that! This is a little gem and I thank you for it.
Look forward to seeing more of you here!
SG
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Sep/20/2013, 6:44 pm
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Re: Urgency
Hi Susie,
The simplicity of this piece is really lovely. I feel you there, tending to the needs of your mother. Like SW, I'm not sure about the repetition of the first and last lines.
xo FGIBG
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Sep/22/2013, 5:16 pm
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Re: Urgency
The repetition is what gives me the urgency. Like a thought that's nearly nagging, as one takes actions that must be slow, enforced by calm, the careful pace of the words while the emotion is contained by the motions, but desperately understated. I can feel the room, it seems too familiar, and too small.
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Sep/23/2013, 3:45 pm
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Re: Urgency
Thank you, Bridgetpost, so much for your comment. It really means a lot to me.
Last edited by Susiemcq, Oct/3/2013, 11:14 am
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Oct/3/2013, 11:10 am
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Re: Urgency
Thank you for your feedback, SW and Fatgirl in boxing...it gives me pause. I see what you're saying...but, don't know if I agree. thank you.
Last edited by Susiemcq, Oct/3/2013, 11:14 am
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Oct/3/2013, 11:11 am
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Re: Urgency
That is the great thing about being a writer... you decide! Having read what bridgetpost said about the urgency, I find myself being persuaded. In any case it is a strong and moving poem and subject matter.
sg
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Oct/3/2013, 11:36 am
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Re: Urgency
Thank you SW for your feedback. It's all good. It's all helpful. It's all constructive. TY
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Oct/3/2013, 2:00 pm
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